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• IS ETHEREUM (ETH) ABOUT TO SKYROCKET TO $5,000? RE …

• Crypto Trumps Politics: Mark Cuban Claims Silicon …

• 🗞️ Crypto News - Sync Up!

• 💻 Crypto Terminology

• 👻 Spooky Crypto Memes

IS ETHEREUM (ETH) ABOUT TO SKYROCKET TO $5,000? RESEARCH SUGGESTS MASSIVE PRICE RISE AFTER ETFS LAUNCH

Welcome to the crypto-verse, ladies and gentlemen! Step right up and witness the spectacle of Ethereum ETFs, where digital wizardry meets Wall Street wizardry in a dazzling display of financial acrobatics!

Act I: The Great ETF Approval

Hold onto your ledgers, folks! The SEC has finally given the green light to spot Ethereum ETFs. It's like they've handed out golden tickets to Willy Wonka's Blockchain Factory. Expect a flood of suits and ties rushing to get a piece of the ETH pie, without ever having to figure out what a "gas fee" is.

Act II: Structural Shenanigans

But wait, there's more! Ethereum's not just any old crypto - it's got tricks up its sleeve:

Zero inflation: It's like a crypto diet, but for supply!

Staking: Where HODLing becomes an extreme sport.

Institutional invasion: Wall Street's finally ready to join the nerd party.

Act III: Crystal Ball Gazing

Now, let's consult our crypto oracles:

Bitwise predicts $15 billion in ETF inflows. That's a lot of digital confetti!

Steno Research sees ETH hitting $6,500 this year. Moon? Pfft. We're talking intergalactic travel here!

The Grand Finale:

Will Ethereum soar past $5,000? Will institutional investors finally learn to pronounce "Vitalik Buterin"? Stay tuned for the next episode of "As the Blockchain Turns"!

Remember, folks: In the wild world of crypto, past performance is no guarantee of future results, but it sure makes for one hell of a roller coaster ride. Strap in, HODL tight, and may the hash rate be ever in your favor!

Crypto Trumps Politics: Mark Cuban Claims Silicon Valley's Trump Support Is All About Bitcoin

Hold onto your hardware wallets, folks! It seems Silicon Valley's tech titans are jumping on the Trump train, and according to billionaire Mark Cuban, it's all about that sweet, sweet Bitcoin.

"It's a Bitcoin play," Cuban declared on X (formerly Twitter, for those still living in 2022). Apparently, a Trump presidency is the golden ticket to crypto paradise, promising to neuter the party-pooping SEC and let digital assets run wild. Who needs regulations when you've got blockchain, right?

Cuban, no stranger to SEC squabbles himself (spoiler: he won), sees Trump's potential return to office as a perfect storm for Bitcoin. Inflation? Check. Geopolitical uncertainty? Double-check. It's like a crypto bro's fever dream come true!

"How high can the price go? Way higher than you think," Cuban teased, reminding us that Bitcoin's global appeal and limited supply could send it to the moon. Or Mars. Or wherever Elon's rockets are headed these days.

Meanwhile, Silicon Valley's bigwigs are opening their digital wallets for Trump. Marc Andreessen and Ben Horowitz, the Bonnie and Clyde of venture capital, are reportedly ready to shower the campaign with cash. Their firm's crypto arm is probably doing a happy dance in the background.

Not to be outdone, Coinbase, that bastion of crypto evangelism in San Francisco, has formed a political action committee with a name straight out of a libertarian romance novel: Fairshake. They're busy supporting pro-crypto candidates and giving the stink eye to anyone who dares question the almighty blockchain.

And let's not forget Trump's potential VP, Senator J.D. Vance, who's got more ties to Silicon Valley than a startup has ping pong tables.

Cuban, in a final flourish of crypto prophecy, mused that Bitcoin could become "exactly what the Maxis envision... A global currency." Because nothing says "stable global economy" like a currency that can lose half its value faster than you can say "HODL."

So there you have it, folks. The unholy alliance of MAGA and crypto is upon us. Who knew that "Make America Great Again" really meant "Make Altcoins Great Again"? Welcome to the brave new world where politics and crypto collide. May your portfolios be ever in your favor!

🗞️ Crypto News - Sync Up!

• Bitcoin Price Soars 12% But Are Crypto Stocks MicroStrategy, Coinbase Surging?

• Trump plans the release of his fourth NFT collection due to ‘public demand’

• BREAKING: Financial Giant State Street Aims to Get Involved in the Cryptocurrency Market and Create Its Own Token

• Democratic Marc Andreessen will vote for Trump because of crypto

💻 Crypto Terminology

Alpha - Alpha is a financial tool indicating an investment’s performance relative to its benchmark index in the market.

Altcoin - As Bitcoin is the first cryptocurrency that captured the world’s imagination, all other coins were subsequently termed “altcoins,” as in “alternative coins.”

aNFT (Autonomous NFT) - aNFTs (autonomous NFTs) are non-fungible tokens that can be programmed to initiate their own transactions.

👻 Spooky Crypto Memes

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DP

*DISCLAIMER: None of this is financial advice. This newsletter is strictly for educational and entertainment purposes; it is not investment advice or a solicitation to buy or sell any assets or to make any financial decisions. Please be careful and do your research.